It's been a while... again. I keep saying that I'll update more frequently, but let's be honest, life is busy. Really busy.
I wish I could just write all day; unfortunately, that's not what puts food on my counter and money in my pocket.
A little update though... I did accomplish 50k for NaNoWriMo! Huge! November was a very busy month for me. I'm so proud of myself to achieve that goal. On the flip side, it was very difficult for me. Why? Because halfway in, I got bored. Really bored. I no longer liked my story at all. I wanted to call it quits so many times, but I didn't *pat on the back.*
I got frustrated after that instead of being inspired to carry on. I had achieved a huge goal I set for myself... I persevered. But it didn't matter. I got angry if we're going to be honest. I got angry that back in the day... *hem hem* at the age of 6-14, I was beyond creative. I wrote for me. I wrote without fear. I wrote without limits. I wrote without caring about if others would judge me. I wrote as if I'd never fail. And that, that was powerful. Then life happened. Teenage years happened... And we all know what a whirlwind of emotion those years are. I kind of curled up in my own little she'll and his away my creativity. Ironically, I became a teacher for Early Childhood. These children are me. Well the me I used to be. I used to have so many ideas I didn't know what to do with them all. Now? I pray for ideas to come. I look for inspiration everywhere. I want something original and fresh. Yes, I know in some shape or form, ideas in stories have somewhat all been done. But I used to be so creative about it. Now I just get disappointed and stop writing.
It's probably the real reason I'm not a published author yet. I have too many fears. I know fear can help you to grow, but sometimes my fears and anxieties paralyze me. And that's depressing.
Has adulthood truly squashed my creativity out of me? Or is it something else?
I can't quite figure it out.
Writing is a passion of mine... Just like teaching. I became a teaching and going through some big changes with my career right now, so that could be another reason I feel like this. But I feel like sometimes my dream of become a published author is moving further and further from my sight. And I honestly hate that.
I am just venting about. I know it's February and around this time of year I always get in a rut until spring comes again... But I'm tired of being in a writing rut.
I'm not sure who reads my blog, but if anyone has advice or insight, please share.
Thanks you and happy writing as always.